"My Heart's A Boat in Tow": Alternatively, The Great First Tracks, vol. V: "Ohio River Boat Song" by Palace Music

When it's time from work to go, and in my boat I row, 'cross the muddy Ohio, when the evening light is falling...

There are few songs quite as beautiful as "Ohio River Boat Song," penned by Will Oldham--not for a Bonnie 'Prince' Billy album, not for a Palace Brothers, not for Palace Songs, and not even for Palace. No, this one is for Palace Music, dummies. There aren't many tracks I would use so flowery a word as "majestic," but this surely qualifies. You can listen to Track #70 on the player and find out for yourself. When Dave Eggers dreamed up the title for A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius, I'm guessing he must have been listening to what is--in my opinion--Will Oldham's finest moment of many fine moments. Other than his Union Army Lt. General beard circa 1863, displayed above, which would win any finest moment competition, not to mention a Rasputin lookalike content.

Most of the "great first tracks" (in old LP lingo: "track 1, side 1") have, y'know, kind of rocked. This song certainly doesn't rock.* (*Important footnote: Anyone ever heard "Over the Neptune/Mesh Gear Fox" by Guided by Voices off Propeller? It begins with a large crowd chanting "GBV! GBV!" It's then followed by this wonderful stage banter: "Is anybody ready to rock? This song does not rock." Anyway, that kind of sums up every indie rock show I've ever been to. But back to the point, huh?)

"Ohio River Boat Song" is a tremendous, slow, brokenhearted track that sets up the remainder of this collection of Palace Music singles perfectly, from "Come In" to "Lost Blues"...and who could ever forget the unforgettably named "Untitled [Live]"?

The lyrics remain powerful even without the music, which is something you can't say for a single Sha-Na-Na song.

When it's time from work to go, a

nd in my boat I row

'cross the muddy Ohio,

when the evening light is falling

And I look towards Floyd's Knobs,

where the afterglories glow

And I dream on two bright eyes with a merry mouth below

She's my beauteous Katerina,

she's my joy and sorrow too

Though I know she is untrue,

oh but I cannot live without her

For my heart's a boat in tow

and I'd give the world to know

If she means to let me go

as I sing the whole day through

Katerina, your lovely hair

has more beauty, I declare

Than all the tresses there

from Smoke Town to Oldham County

Be it black, red, gold, or brown,

let them hang to lengths below

They mean not as much to me

as a melting flake of snow

And her dance is like a gleam

of the sunlight on the stream

And the screeching blue jays seem

to form her name when screaming

But my heart is full of woe,

for last night she made me go

And tears begin to flow

as I sing the whole day through

Whenever I have to write a paper or read something ugly and technical, I think of this song...and when compared to the UCC, it becomes even more lovely. This song has brought some light into dark times, I'll say that much.

Bonnie Prince Billy, ya done good. Track 70 on the imeem player.

But I can't wait for them to lay some drum 'n bass shit on this track someday. That'll be sweet.