Alternative Ulster: And People Say Northern Ireland Is Just A Big Pair Of Tits

On the weekends, I think I will put up a playlist of artists from specific countries, regions or cities. Here we go. Unfortunately, only tracks 4, 5, & 6 are full on the embedded player. If you want to hear full versions of the first three, I think you either need to click the standalone player or visit the imeem site.

Region Background: Northern Ireland (Ulster, Scotland, Jr.) was founded in 1957, when Zeus gave birth to a turtle out of his skull. Unfortunately, it was inhabited by two warring clans: one that thinks Daniel Day Lewis kicked ass in In The Name of the Father, and another who quite frankly prefers lighter summer fare, like Requiem for a Dream. Northern Ireland also exports a number of products we use in our day to day lives, such as eternal dampness. Famous Northern Irelandians include: many actors who try to fake that Belfast accent where every sentence you say ends in a questioning inflection.


The Bands: According to an oft visited website of questionable accuracy, Stiff Little Fingers and the Undertones used to have it out over The Troubles™, because SLF talked about it a lot ("sensationalized it," according to the Undertones), while the Undertones just wrote songs about liking girls ("bunch of pussies," according to everyone).

Speaking of w-k-p-d-- articles that I can’t vouch for, apparently a record company threw away a demo of “Suspect Device” by Stiff Little Fingers, thinking it was, in fact, a suspect device.

Additionally, “Suspect Device” was featured in High Fidelity, where the anemic weirdo tells Roseanne’s daughter that Green Day was influenced by Stiff Little Fingers. Then he starts playing this song, and someone in the store said “Is this the new Green Day?” That’s when I could no longer suspend my disbelief that these characters were legitimate music nerds. Stick to the Beta Band, anemic weirdo. Nobody who’s ever heard a song before could mistake Stiff Little Fingers for Green Day, they sound absolutely nothing alike. The Descendants, maybe. Who’s the hyperventilating music loser now?

Both “Teenage Kicks” and “I Don’t Wanna Get Over You” were covered to death by the pop punk bands I listened to growing up, and I actually prefer The Queers cover version of the latter song to the original, because Joe King doesn’t sound quite as much like a woodland elf when he sings.

Also, the Outcasts. I’m sure they had some stories to tell. Probably still do, assuming they’re not all dead. Their stories probably start thusly: “Hey, anybody in our band, The Outcasts, have any amusing anecdotes to tell about growing up in Derry?” And then those stories end with: “no.”

“Self Conscious Over You” is the sort of song Screeching Weasel, The Queers, The Vindictives, and MTX would later perfect, but with the good fortune of not having to get through East Belfast army checkpoints to get to the recording studio.

Also, I particularly like “The Cops Are Comin’,” because it’s quite catchy and about murder. Catchy songs about murder are why the Industrialized West is beating the pants off all those other civilizations out there, because quite frankly, Chinese songs about murder never feature power chords.

These are my three favorite bands from Northern Ireland. This is partly aided by the fact that they’re the only bands I know from there. But I do like all of them.

Amazingly, 4 of 6 songs feature the double hand clap, which makes any song better.

You may wonder why I named this post "Alternative Ulster," but did not include that Stiff Little Fingers track. Actually, I don't really like that song.

Note: I took down the songs from last week, but if you feel like hearing any of them you can ask me and I'll put them up again.